The first time I saw him cross the street and not acknowledge my presence was enlightening. Much more than any of the endless times my friends tried to drag me into a conversation I refused to have.

            It is beyond me how people believe you will say everything you need and think to their faces when they were simply not there. Am I supposed to talk about the many times my life changed from heaven to hell and the only steady part of it was him? Am I supposed to tell them how many times I felt attracted to other people and, the next day, when it had all turned to dust, I was hysterically glad I still had his body to hold on to?

           We did not see eye to eye on everything, but we were both private people. Our discussions never left the house. Who else could sort them out but us? There were uneasy periods, when our personal lives were unbalanced and jealousy came. But jealousy was never a person, it was always the general possibility. There were no big arguments, insane crisis or men and women to blame.

            When they tell you fighting is a synonym to passion, turn away. Shut your ears. It is not about the drama. Those were the worst nights, when it all seemed dark and strange. The best sex does not happen when you are feeling the most distant. The best sex happens when you are feeling so close that you desperately need to become one.

             And it happened many times. Under mixed intensities words fail to describe. Much more than any fight, much more than any trivial attraction and much, much more than we cared to share with the world.

          Then one of us crossed the line. And our happy kingdom imploded. Like the most incomparable tower which falls to the ground and turns into unrecognisable crumbles, indissociable from all the other ordinary pieces that were already there.

            And there was that body, walking past me like I was nothing special and we were both robots in a post-apocalypse scenario. The body I had once disappeared into every single night. The body whose skin I had once run my tongue across entirely. The body my body had many times surrendered to in hopeless desire.

        We were now perfect strangers cohabiting in the same insensitive world. Two more lost souls looking for untimely redemption. And there was nothing to be said about it.